The Heavy Burden of Offense—And How to Finally Let It Go

Are You Carrying Something You Were Never Meant to Hold?

Have you ever felt a lingering weight in your heart after someone said something that rubbed you the wrong way? Maybe it was an offhand comment, a dismissive look, or a situation that truly hurt you. You replay it in your mind, let it settle in your heart, and before you know it—you’re carrying it with you everywhere.

Offense is like a fence—quite literally. Life hands us situations that feel unfair, unkind, or inconsiderate, and in those moments, we have a choice: do we take the fence (offense) and carry it, or do we leave it where it was offered? The more we hold on, the heavier it gets.

But what if I told you that holding onto offense doesn’t just weigh down your heart—it actually affects your brain and body in ways you might not realize?

Let’s talk about what offense really does to us, why we’re so quick to take it, and most importantly—how we can let it go.

In This Episode, I Discuss:

1. The Science Behind Taking Offense

Offense isn’t just an emotional reaction—it’s a physiological one. When we feel slighted, our amygdala (the part of our brain responsible for processing emotions and triggering our fight-or-flight response) goes into overdrive. This means that every time we take offense, we’re literally signaling to our bodies that we’re in danger. Over time, this heightened stress response can lead to anxiety, increased cortisol levels, and even physical exhaustion.

2. Why Some People Get Offended More Easily

There are many reasons why some of us are more prone to taking offense. It could be tied to past trauma, insecurities, or even excessive exposure to negative content (like doom-scrolling through social media). When we depend on external validation, any perceived slight can feel like a personal attack. But when we’re secure in ourselves, we recognize that not everything requires a reaction.

3. Brigham Young’s Perspective on Offense

Brigham Young once said, “He who takes offense when offense was not intended is a fool, yet he who takes offense when offense is intended is an even greater fool.” This quote is a game-changer. It reminds us that offense is always a choice. Whether someone meant to hurt us or not, we decide whether to pick it up and carry it or to leave it behind. And when we choose not to take offense—even when it’s intentional—we reclaim our peace.

4. How to Break the Habit of Taking Offense

If you find yourself getting triggered easily, there’s hope! You don’t have to live in a constant state of frustration. Some practical ways to stop taking offense include:

• Practicing the Pause: Before reacting, take a breath. Give yourself a moment to decide if this is worth your energy.
• Building Self-Esteem: When we know who we are, we’re less likely to let others define us. Surround yourself with people who uplift you.
• Shifting Perspectives: Instead of assuming the worst, try seeing things from another person’s viewpoint. Often, offense is rooted in misunderstanding.
• Letting Go for Your Own Good: Holding onto offense isn’t punishing the other person—it’s only hurting you. Choosing to release it is an act of self-care.

The Choice Is Yours

Life will keep offering you fences—situations where you can choose to take offense. But carrying those fences around will only block your view, weigh down your spirit, and distract you from the joy that’s right in front of you.

Today, I challenge you: the next time offense is offered to you, will you take it? Or will you let it go and walk forward in freedom?

Let’s talk about it in the comments—have you ever held onto offense longer than you should have? How did it impact you, and what helped you move on?

And if you know someone who could do with hearing this right now, please share this episode with her too!

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Resources:  

• Download my Vision Board Kickstart guide
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